coupling does not ensure a soul mate

sailboat

coupling does not ensure a soul mate

it tricks

by the semblance of giving one

and leaves one doubly desolate

for having been duped for so long.

I dreamt of a kindred spirit

to be fused in a dance

to the stars and to knit

our limbs in embrace

of joy and discover the contours of our bodies

to map our desires and chart our caprice

to voyage in a vessel of our love

and fuelled by our passion

for books, music and learning.

I did not foresee that we would flounder

and get lost in the labyrinth of meaning

that we could not be sustained

by a plain diet of mutual understanding

the fresh innocence that we brought on board.

We were timorous in our exploration

of our sensual and sensuous selves

not knowing how to plumb and exploit the depths.

I was ignorant and knew not what to search-

there was no virtue in such ignorance

nor the dependence I had on his navigation

and provision.

Now I have no such excuse

to continue in this claustrophobic existence.

My eyes are still fixed on a dance to the stars

but my trip will be solo

to be celibate and celebrate

the compass that is my soul

to veer towards my God, my Constellation

but I could not abandon my hapless mate

stranded by my faithlessness

on my course to a different destiny

so we are still drifting

abiding time when the wind will change

awaiting to sight the other shore